Jaws has kindly allowed me to pass along this year's hot new styles for girls between the ages of one and three. We're seeing a lot of exciting new trends in toddler couture this season. Item one:
The dress up. Sequins and dripping with fringe, a la Wal Mart. Make sure you accessorize with snow-white bow shoes and your older sister's pink beaded headband on occasion. For day-time casual, we're noticing a trend of bared shoulder. You can do this with any shirt. Simply slip one arm out and wear it toga style.
Your older sister's birthday party lip gloss is the hottest thing right now. Open it, slurp it, smear it. Wipe it on your baby brother's mouth. Glop it on the wallpaper. Make sure the radioative grape-goodness smell permeates your entire residence. Your friends in the binky-and-diaper set will go wild.
Pants are totally out this year. Make sure you build a little chub to show your dimpled knees to their best advantage.
The bunny slipper. A must-have. If you can't find both, wear one. Don't leave the house without them, even if it means your mom has to carry you over the snowy pavement on trips to wal-mart.
And last but not least: hair. The haystack look is what's in this year.
Your mom will want to put your hair in clips; this will help. Take them out during naptime for the perfect, "my mom never cuts my hair or washes me" look. So high fasion. So grunge-derelict. Doors will open. Grape juice will rain down from heaven. People will offer you soggy graham crackers at every turn.