It's been a while since I posted.
I'm feeling a little angsty right now. I don't like feeling like people depend on me, this is something I have realized. How silly is that? I am the DEFINITION of depended upon. Mom, wife, beehive advisor, friend, homeschooler, etc etc etc. Today I feel like shirking it all, holing up in my room and playing Civilization IV for five hours.
I've been reading my journal lately in preparation for the YW lesson I gave today on personal records. I realized I was kind of a brat when I was 13. But I had a lot of good qualities, too. It's funny, the two other women who read entries from their journals were also embarrassed by how silly they felt they were; how "shallow" or "wrapped up in unimportant things"...
do we put too much pressure on our young selves? I wonder if this leads to putting too much pressure on our own children, particularly our firstborn children. I felt like my parents came down pretty hard on me when I was that age. A piece of me reads this 13 year old version of myself and is a little disgusted, and I wonder if that's not a ridiculous, uncharitable way to be. I wonder if I'm going to be as critical of myself when I read my blog and journal entries in another sixteen years.
Maybe this is the most difficult aspect of "not judging," giving ourselves, in our weaknesses and periods of growth and youth, a break.
Just some things I've been pondering.