No, I haven't been hitting the reefer.
I titled the post this way because of a facebook conversation I instigated the other day. I'm writing a fantasy novel, and one of my characters is a drug addict, and I want her to have a "bad trip" for the purposes of my plot, and so I solicited opinions from my lotus-eating high school friends as to whether there's a such thing as a "bad marijuana trip."
The feedback I got was, yes, there is a such thing. People who have bad trips tend to experience extreme paranoia, eg, thinking everyone in the room suddenly hates them or has it out for them, feeling like people are doing things on purpose to send them messages/hurt them, etc.
One of the things mentioned by one of my knowledgeable friends was that an underlying mental-health problem, like an anxiety disorder, can sometimes cause this in conjunction with Marijuana, even if there's no overdose.
It is scary, reading these things because I have this happen to me sometimes. I've learned to sense when my thoughts become distorted in this way, and just sort of ride them out, nod and smile in social situations and try to not act weird because of it. But it's not easy.
And it's odd. I realize suddenly, in a way I'd never thought of it before, that this is not a normal thing at all. My friend stated that her dad gave up his favorite drug because he was starting to feel "paranoid" all the time.
I'm wondering to myself, is there a counter-herb, that could do the opposite? I've taken St. Jon's Wort before. I wonder. If Heavenly Father created a plant like Marijuana, which can relax people but can also instigate paranoia if it's overused, then is there something out there that does the opposite. Did Heavenly Father send his children to this earth knowing some would struggle, and also put things on this earth that would help them specifically with those struggles, if they sought it out? (Again... I'm not intending to hit the reefer or start shooting up or anything... it's just some thoughts about the universe I've been having.)
It makes me wonder about myself a little. The thing is, I'm a pretty functional person. And let's face it--everyone has their issues. In fact, perhaps my biggest weakness in the past is not allowing others to see my issues, see my vulnerability because I was too ashamed of it.
Anyway, some deep thoughts. All this makes me want to reach out to the universe and say, "hey. It's a good place I'm living in. People are great, and I'm a good person and people like me." It makes me want to write it on a sticky note (trite as it is) and stick it on the mirror... though I know that, in the moment, not even something like that would really help. Riding it out--making sure you don't damage relationships when a spell hits you--that's all I've found, in my short three decades of life, that really helps.
Anyway. THoughts, insights about things that you tend to struggle with? And ways you've found actually work to combat them?