Weaning Squirt

I'm weaning my baby boy. At 15 months old. I'm doing it gradually... right now I'm down to about 3 feedings daytime and one at night. Honestly, that's weaning.

I've always had the intention to nurse at least until age two. Loli's nursing ended at 8 months when I dried up due to stress. Jaw's lasted 'till about 14 months or so, when a new pregnancy took care of it. I wanted to "tandem nurse," but was easily convinced by the midwife that I should just let it go, she could eat solids now and the new baby needed nutrients, and so did I.

This time it's because of new additions, too. Our two girls, coming home approx. Middle/end of June or early July. (Don't you love how specific that is!!) Skywalker and I will be leaving the kiddoes for a weak with my mother in law while we fly over to Africa to pick up our Ethiopian daughters. And I don't think it would be fair to make said Mother-in-Law deal with the weaning process. So I'm gradually weaning him right now.

It's kind of heartbreaking. Baby Squirt is much more clingy than my other two kids were. To be honest, I love it. I love having a cuddly little thing who wants to nestle up against me and be held all day, with perhaps two hours of playtime as a break. I love a baby boy who needs mom still. He's a tiny little thing; still within normal parameters but skinny, wiry, and on the short side, with a huge, mischevious grin and a propensity to give startlingly random kisses. He's soft spoken and silly and sweet, except when he's hysterical... about two times a day, lately.

There are people who have told me, "isn't he a little old for that?"

No. No, he's not.

I'm going to try to focus on the positive... enjoy the sessions remaining. Doing this electively is different than having the biological choice removed from me. It's only through sheer will power, and thinking about my poor mother-in-law, honestly.

Next time. We'll make it past two years, next time.

The journey toward musicianship

Posted on my family's blog. I want to know what you think, especially if you're someone who has had the kinds of experiences I have.

An Easter Message

Wonderful wonderful

we got some lovely amazing pictures in our inbox today, and a video. We have two sweet, sweet girls. My heart just aches for the older. She looks so lost, bewildered, shy, afraid. I just want to make everything all better for her. But I know it will take some time. She may not even want me around for a while, and I'm gearing up for that emotionally. But dang it, these two girls need some constancy and attention and loving caregivers in their lives. They are both so sweet and special, I can just feel it, looking at the pictures and watching the movie.

This was the description the woman who took our package to the girls gave us:

They are beautiful, sweet girls! The older one was a bit hesitant and seemed unsure of what was happening when we presented the picture book, but the nurse was so loving and encouraging, it was really special to watch. Both girls were quiet and attentive but the younger was very smiley and excited about it all. You will see this in a little video we took and will send to you as soon as we can. Throughout the week, when we saw the girls they were much the same, the older a bit more reserved and the younger always a big smile. One day the older girl was having fun pushing our boys and some other kids on a merry-go-round, I ran back to the waiting room to grab our camera but when I came back the kids were being rounded up to go inside. Both girls seem so nice and happy and developmentally fine. Although the orphanage was nice, and we were impressed with the caring nurses, it's definitely not a place the girls should grow up in. You and them are so blessed to have each other. Thank you for letting us share in your adoption journey.

I'm sooooo ready to go bring them home. Lately we've been adding Woinshet and Meaza to our prayers at night, praying that they will be safe and happy and that they will be prepared to join our family, and that we will be prepared to have them in ours. If you feel like it, we definitely wouldn't mind if others wanted to say a prayer or two as well. I think this next fast Sunday will be to that end for me, and also for a favorable court date (may 20th, everybody!)

What a crazy roller coaster this has been... and right now I feel like I'm chuggging slowly up the long, steep slope that you know will end in the 60 foot vertical drop. I'm just waiting for it... preparing for it... grabbing on for dear life and bracing myself.

What a wonderful thing it has been, though. I'd definitely reccommend it.

I've been neglecting you...

My wonderful fellow bloggers,

I'm sorry that I have been such a hermit these days. I have had several projects in the works, and I think a piece of me feels very guilty for not continuing the pictures of pornography series. I really, really really need to finish up the transcript of the interview I did, and I need to nudge Skywalker sufficently enough to get him to write the article I've been begging from him on Internet use and pornography, and how best to help your kids/family members/loved ones as protected as possible (or not? That's part of the discussion, I think.)

Anyway, I have been blogging a little bit, on a blog my family started which I already love and adore with a passion equal to my love for totino's pizza dipped in ranch dressing. here it is: www.goodandsogoodforyou.blogspot.com if for some inexplicable reason you're hankering to read something I've written...

I'll be back. Soon. Soon, Dave, I promise. :) Bearing gifts of pornography articles and discussions, and perhaps an adoption update or two... we're still in the same place, just waiting to see the outcome of our court date on May 20th. We sent a care package to Ethiopia with a family who went over there... our girls should have gotten it by now. The family also promised to take some up-close, good pictures. I hope they'll have some insights for me into their personalities, too. Anyway, I can't post pictures here until we bring'em home, but if I find out anything exciting, I'll definitely not keep you guys out of the loop.

Thanks for your patience, blogging friends.

Sadness... and worry

One of my fellow adoptive parents had their baby girl die two days ago. She is in the same orphanage as our two girls. She died from a complication of chicken pox. One of the other adoptive families was just out in Ethiopia picking up their baby two weeks ago, and saw her, and she was fine.

The difference between medical care in the US and medical care in third world countries is night and day. What is available here is impossible there... cost wise, and just general availability. This is true for the HIV epidemic. We have medications that can drastically change the lives of those who carry the virus, but costs and red tape (things with the pharmaceutical companies, etc) make it difficult to distribute and make these drugs available.

Having children in this country has opened my eyes in so many ways. It's not that I didn't know before, that people died from simple things like chicken pox and diahhrea and tuberculosis and measles in third-world-countries. I knew it. I just was removed from it. Now I'm not. These are my kids you're talking about.

Please say a prayer for Woinshet and Meaza. And also, please keep this little baby girl in mind when you think about whether you have the means to donate to charities or think of what you can do to help the world. This little 1-year-old girl was healthy two weeks ago, and now she is dead, from an ailment that is not very serious here in the United states.

Some places you can go to find out how you can help:

Doctors Without Borders

International Medical Relief
Unicef

Adoption Court Date

Our kiddoes will be officially ours (pending the actual passing of court... hopefully we will be able to do this with our first appointment!) On May 20, 2009. We will be able to go and pick them up 2-6 weeks later, depending on how long their passports take.

So we will be traveling to Ethiopia, home to the world's oldest human skeleton, the great rift valley, the source of the blue nile, the birthplace of Makeda, Queen of Sheba, and also of two of the most beautiful girls on the face of this planet, sometime this June.

Hooray!!

I'm filling these months up with more reading, hair practice, cooking practice, and other important things. My goals are to learn several important words and phrases in Amharic if I can, and also get some donations from local people/ward members to take to the Aids orphanage.

So basically we'll be running around like the proverbial headless chickens.
We're so excited.