Apr 15, 2010

Things We Say

NSG: (sleeping,finally. Rose is up against NSG's completely numb shoulder, having refused to go back down in crib, after teasing NSG for 1.5 hours with intermittent nursing and wakefulness.).

*Screeching electronic click, bright flashing of light*

NSG: (opens one eye, croaks:) What are you doing?

Skywalker: Your profiles were so perfect. Pretend you're sleeping again.

Squirt: Mommy I need YOU.

NSG: (pats lap) come up here.

Squirt: (cuddles up in NSG's lap, rubs fuzzy little head against NSG's chest, looks up with his blue, blue eyes.) I Love you, Mommy.

NSG: Love you too, squirt.

Squirt: Mommy, I need MILK. Mommy I need a baba with MILK.

NSG: (Rolls eyes, heaves self up, and goes to the fridge. Pours milk and considers the problem of teaching a baby boy about how wrong it is to manipulate womenfolk. Hands over baba, and has the sudden, horrified realization that it worked.)

Jaws: Mommy, look at my dance! (jumps frienziedly on the trampoline, falls down on her chest, then sticks a bent leg up in the air. Jumps back up, points a toe while making a vicious kicking motion.)

NSG: Wow! Is that gymnastics?

Jaws: No mom, it's ballet! I'm a ballerina, see? (points to the threadbare, sequin-dripping flapper dress she has draped across her waist.)

NSG: Beautiful!

MayMay: Mom, I'm helping. (Smearing a washcloth soaked with gosh-knows what over the vintage wallpaper in the living room.) I'm cleaning!

NSG: Good Job!

Bella: Mom, I want treeeeeat. Mom, I want caaaaandy. Mom, I want do a job and get money and go to store and get Caaaandy.

NSG: Not right now. Please finish your school.

Bella: (face crumples up)

NSG: (raises eyebrow, shakes finger playfully.) Hey! No crying. School.

Bella: (Mouth curles into a reluctant, gaptoothed grin. Turns back to her math paper and gets busy.)

NSG: Loli! What's your new book doing down here with the cover ripped off?! You need to take care of your stuff!

Loli: (shrugs.) I didn't want it, so I gave it to MayMay.

NSG: (growl of frustration, slightly raised voice). I gave it to you for a birthday present. It's a good book! You might not like it right away but if you put it away you might like it later.

Loli: (gives NSG a considering, concerned glance.) Ok, Mom. I'll put it away, then.

NSG: (at a sudden loss in the face of such stunning obedience) Um, right. Thank you. Take care of your things, OK?

Loli: Ok, Mom. Do you want me to do a science essay today?

NSG: (beginning session of mental self-flagellation for being too hard on little-adult child) Um, not today. You don't have to. Unless you want to?

Loli: (shrugs again) OK. (picks up book and cover, skips up the stairs.)

*sound of loud wailing blasting from the baby monitor*

NSG: (charges up the stairs) what's going on?

Jaws: (face a picture of blue-eyed, trembling-lipped tragedy) Loli hit me!

NSG: (gives Loli an incredulous glance) You hit your 3-year-old sister?

Loli: She was trying to climb up to my bunk bed and take my stuff!

Bella: (watching NSG dole out bananas and crackers to everyone for midmorning snack while somehow managing to balance baby Rose in the crook of her elbow) Mom, I love you.

NSG: I love you too. All of you guys. Sometimes you make me tired, but I love you.

Jaws: (confused glance) You're tired, Mommy? Is that why you're still in your pajamas?


Putz said...

why are you still in your pajamas??????????

Anthony D said...

I had a good laugh! Keep it up!