Jan 31, 2008

Fasion tips for toddlers

Jaws has kindly allowed me to pass along this year's hot new styles for girls between the ages of one and three. We're seeing a lot of exciting new trends in toddler couture this season. Item one:

The dress up. Sequins and dripping with fringe, a la Wal Mart. Make sure you accessorize with snow-white bow shoes and your older sister's pink beaded headband on occasion. For day-time casual, we're noticing a trend of bared shoulder. You can do this with any shirt. Simply slip one arm out and wear it toga style.

Your older sister's birthday party lip gloss is the hottest thing right now. Open it, slurp it, smear it. Wipe it on your baby brother's mouth. Glop it on the wallpaper. Make sure the radioative grape-goodness smell permeates your entire residence. Your friends in the binky-and-diaper set will go wild.

Pants are totally out this year. Make sure you build a little chub to show your dimpled knees to their best advantage.

The bunny slipper. A must-have. If you can't find both, wear one. Don't leave the house without them, even if it means your mom has to carry you over the snowy pavement on trips to wal-mart.

And last but not least: hair. The haystack look is what's in this year.

Your mom will want to put your hair in clips; this will help. Take them out during naptime for the perfect, "my mom never cuts my hair or washes me" look. So high fasion. So grunge-derelict. Doors will open. Grape juice will rain down from heaven. People will offer you soggy graham crackers at every turn.


Janell said...

"Doors will open. Grape juice will rain down from heaven. People will offer you soggy graham crackers at every turn." LOL!

Lucy Stern said...

So cute! Glad to hear from you again. Take care of that cold.

Fern said...

Too right! Your blog made me laugh out loud! My kids must be fashion queens since they follow this to the letter!

Lucy Stern said...

I watched the funeral today and my eyes are sore around the edges from wiping away tears.

Liz L said...

Thanks for making me laugh! You are a fabulous writer - I love your descriptions. I can't wait until I get to have "battles" over clothes/hair/purple lip gloss with Simone. Oh, and thanks for posting the link to the Mormon Feminist Housewives - it feels good to know I have sisters out there!

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious. Winter, summer, spring, and fall, my little granddaugher insists on wearing pink cowgirl boots with all outfits.