Feb 25, 2008

Moral One-Upsmanship

So as a prospective Ethiopian Adopter, I have encountered a troubling phenomenon. It seems that people who are really invested in the American foster care system see all these parents going to foreign countries to adopt as selfish, and irresponsible, because they ought to be turning to the American Foster Care system to adopt instead. I know I'll be getting this for the rest of my life after I adopt, and so I'm just going to put my thoughts out there so I can refer back to them in the face of indignant social workers and foster parents here in America.

1) You guys are awesome. Good for you. You work hard to place needy children in homes with families who will take care of them.

2) Foster parenting is completely different from parenting with the permanency of referral for adoption. It's something that I have considered and rejected for the time being, because I feel that my young family requires the stability of a permanent commitment at this time. Later on, when all of my children have been mostly raised, I plan on seriously considering foster care.

3) Geographical closeness does provide an element of convenience to any adoptive situation, but it does not provide any extra stewardship, in my opinion. All children are God's children, and everyone in the world is responsible for taking care of all of them. If everyone in the world who were capable of adopting actually found their way to being able to adopt, we'd have enough families to take care of all the world's orphans, including the theoretical orphans that have become a part of our foster care system.

4) Prayer and inspiration were involved in my decision. As a caring person who has invested a lot in children, I really hope you can support me in my decision. Because I'm going to need your support, because it won't be easy. Though I can do it on my own, I hope I can have your help. You people have amazing skills and resources at your fingertips, and I know that my little family will really benefit from them. Please stop trying to morally one-up me and instead, turn to me as a colleague and fellow caregiver.

So that's all I have to say about that. :)

1 comment:

Lucy Stern said...

Well, I for one, think it is wonderful that you would want to adopt a child from another country. There are children in need all over this world and I don't see anything wrong with it.

My daughter is going to Italy over her spring break. Someone asked her why she is going there when there is so much to see in the USA. She answered with "Why Not?" There is a whole world out there, why not see it!